Her World

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

it was all a mistake..

i dreamt..

i planned..

i hoped..

i thought..

that 2006 xmas..

will be different..

wif all e events gg on..

wif all e gifts,e joy in e air..

it will be different..

i was wrong..

e 1st dream dashed..

-movie marathon wif uncle steven-
i swear..e atmoshpere was weird..
he was still sweet n everything..
e jacket..e kit kat..
but.. .. ..it juz felt wrong..

e 2nd dream dashed..

-going out wif ben n winglok-
winglok was sweet nice..
waiting for me at e end of e crowd..
knowing i will b stuck in it..
ben was sweet nice..
for paying e movie..
for paying e dinner at nydc..
but e twist was his frenz..ben frenz..
he joined us..
n.. .. .. ..

e 3rd dream dashed

-xmas countdwn wif my parents on sat-
i promised i haf to stay at hm..
to be wif my parents..
haf been running ard recently..
but..
it was still e same..
e cold cold big big hse..

e 4th dream dashed..

-todae-
it was joey bdae todae..
i wanted to buy a slice of cake for her..
n deliver personally to her hse..
but.. .. ..
i woke up late..
eyes swollen..
no mood..
n.. .. ..
b4 gg for dinner at uncle hse..
i wanted to go run 1st..
blew my temper at my mom..
she was so irritating..
kinda guilty.. .. ..
while running..
lots of thought in my mind..
n at uncle hse..
e atmosphere was veri funni..
cold..silent..dark..
suddenly..
my uncle went mad..
literally mad..
haf no idea hz to describe..
but..
it was scary..
his mouth was bleeding while screaming..
tis war was btwn my mom n his bro(uncle)
.. .. .. ..
granpa pulled,hugged uncle tightly..
dad trying to comfort uncle..
uncle wife stoping his husband..
mom.. .. ..at one side crying..
me.. .. ..
squatting rite infront of them watching..
watching all e rubbish gg on..
i teared..
i cried badly..
i had enough..
everything..
its in a mess..
my life..
their life..
uncle mentioned..
dying..
DIE LA DIE LA EVERYBODY GO DIE!!!
tt was wad appeared in my mind..
i wanted so much to scream..
to slap everybody..
wake the fuck up!
but.. ..
imagine e consequences..
so i cant do anything..
except to cry n cry n watch n watch..
held my mom hands..
tt iz e another ting i culd do..

wad iz gg on?

its xmas todae..

didnt i sae..its a time to let ppl noe hz much u love them

treasure them

?

why tis?

i wanted to change..

i wanted my 2007 resolution to cum true..

but.. .. .. ..

why tis?

i cant drink..

drinking makes me go wild..

go uncontrollable..

but i swear i miss e taste..

e feelin of drunk..

i dont haf to go tink..

juz accept wadeva cums..

wad happens if i die?

die at e age of 17..

wad will happen?

yea..there will b ppl missing me..

but as time passes..

i will be gradually forgotten..

juz like my grandma..

plz..

let 2007..

cum nicely..

plz..

let 2007..

be a fresh start..

please.. .. .. ..

0 Comments: