Her World

Sunday, December 10, 2006

sum1 help me

tears.. .. ..

i cried..

cuz of my work performance..

its sunday..n e sales r supposed to b gd..

but it was onli a mere 178 pluz todae..

kryshelle was under my training..

so e sales was EXPECTADLY to b gd..

but.. .. ..

lady boss was so disappointed in me..

n for e 1st time..

she lecture me..

on her bdae summore..

after lecturing..

wanted so badly to cry cuz of e guilt im feelin inside..

but i cant..

kryshelle will sae

im a crybaby..

bt e tears flowed wen lady boss msg me..

-Girl,i know u might be crying or maybe not but u must understand y i react like tat.U shld show good example ma right? Dont cry if u r crying now k.-

GOSH..wen i saw..

e tears juz flow n flow n flow..

den she call..

ha..she knew i cried though i keep saying no..

bad liar..bad salesgal..bad trainer..

=(

n.. .. ..

veri bad daughter..

i wanted so much to blog tis out le..

parents haf been nagging non stop..

on hz useless i am..

hz i never help out..

n reminding me all e bad habits i haf..

mom..keep repeating..

-if one dae i die,hu will help u wash ur clothes???-

in chi of cuz..n veri fierce tigress voice too..

i wuld oways reply her..

-if one dae u die, i will join u..-

-den daddy hz?-

-kill daddy oso..one happy family together again-

-_-

i thought about tis..seriously..

wad wuld realli happen to me if one dae one of my parents r gone..

i realli cant survive w/o them..

my daddy..
e one tt i will oways scream for like siao wen there r DISGUSTING insects no pests..
e one tt will fetch me here n there =)
*p.s..though i nvr realli sae a word of thanks b4..n u cant see..
daddy thanks alot..realli thanks..*
e one tt i will disturb wen he iz readin newspaper..
e one tt will act cute wif me occasionally..
e one tt oways irritatingly nag at me n end up quarrelling..
e one tt repairs stuff..

my mommy..
e one tt wash my clothes(daddy washes his own)
e one tt iron my clothes (daddy irons his own sumtimes mine too)
e one tt changes my bed..
e one tt cleans e floor,keeps e hse clean(daddy helps out too..n they even fight for it)
e one tt i will oways rub her hair(like hz u rub a dogs fur)
e one tt oways tell me to slp early..(like wad she iz doing nw)
e one tt will hit me like nvr hit ppl b4(realli freakin pain..she PUNCH!!!)
e one tt i will fight wif,argue wif,quarrel wif..
e one tt will pat my head(like now..n i LOVE it =))
e one tt will buy bread for me..
e one tt gif me daily money..(ask daddy for sum sumtimes too)

see..

hz can i eva survive w/o them?
hz can i live w/o ani of them?

i realli feel veri useless..

n..

it hurts to see my mom..

walkin no nt walking..

wad iz e word???

argh..

she..walks..no..ARGH!!!

she.. .. .. ..

walks by.. .. ..

one step at a time like..

hz u walk wen u sprain ur ankle or sumting..

get it???

yea..n she realli walks in pain..

imagine..

her leg..ankle..ARGH..

i haf problem wif english..

but juz imagine her joints there r injured..

she still haf to squart down to wash my clothes..panties..

..

..

..

i realli haf to help out..

i haf to be independent..

i m 17 alreadi..

i realli haf to..

but can i?

17 yrs of living on parents..

17 yrs of relying on parents..

17 yrs of being e gal tt don do anything..

can i change?

can i start to do my own stuff n be independent?

yes i can..
my cousin can do it..
y cant i?
im 17 for goodness sake..
im 17.. .. ..

im scared..
e tears r brimming..
im scared..

SATURDAY 9TH NOV
STEP IT UP..
=)
he said hello..
stupid me..didnt realli answer..
juz dumbly smiled back..
=)
gave him one stick of pocky..
he said xie xie
=)
was practically staring at him..
n there iz..
tis one friendly nice cute gal..
didnt realise..
tt she was his gf..
till wen she hug him from his back..
*thunder,big rain,wind strong*
completely moodless..n didnt realli go in animore..
stayed out..wanted so badly to leave..
finally found my clazmates to acc me..
=)
den left..
pondered badly whether or not shld i sae bye to him..
den he left e circle..
good chance..nice timing..
went over..
stood infront..
said bye..
-ure leaving?-
-ya-
-gg hm?-
-er..ya-
DUMB!!!
said bye n did e ting wif my hiphop frenz..
den he came over to brandon there..
said bye to felicia..
did e ting wif her too..
wanted to try out wif him..
surprisingly he noe everything..
except e victory sign..
hz smart of him to rmb..
=)
kinda bad for leaving brandon..
but.. .. ..

i betcha his parents r so proud of him..
hafing a son with talent..
realising his talent..
making e best out of his talent..
yea..perhaps..
his family has his own problems..
or maeb not..
but..
at least.. .. ..
they haf gt a son..
tt has talent..
independent..
smart..
ambition..
cute..
n gt himself a gd gf..
Me?
i m a failure in being a daughter..
in wadeva i do..
i don haf talent for anything..
learnt piano..
quitted halfway..
learnt ballet..
quitted halfway..
it seems like i oways do tings halfway..
.. .. ..
i want my parents to be proud of me too..
but..
wad tings can they be proud of me in?
i haf nothing..
nothing
at
all
..
..

sum1..ani1..
gif me a rope..
show me e light..

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